Shortened Thoughts

Today was the day we had set aside to have a handful of friends come in to watch the show. We mostly asked experienced theatre folk - directors and actors. I needed to get an idea of how the show was coming across to an audience. I had interest from a number of people that I knew, but most of them pulled out this week.

We had one man show up. And I had never met him before.

But many thanks to the man who was introduced to me simply as "Chief." (Apparantly this comes from a Kansas City football obsession.) He was a director who Dawn had worked with in the past. Just one audience member lit firecrackers under this show. It was fantastic. I can only imagine what it will be like with a full audience. This was the best performance we have ever done. It was just electric. I was SO proud of everyone.

After the show I sat down with Chief and got some notes and feedback, all of which was very useful. I swear, we were all ready to jump in and spend the next two hours working on fixes. Our energy was so up and we were soaring on the good feelings that this show engenders. But we had to be out of the church at 9. We ended up doing notes quickly. Dawn called me an hour later, breathless with ideas for the show and unable to sleep. I talked to Paul shortly after that as well.

We are so ready for this! Tech is tomorrow, then a quick run-through and a couple fixes on Thursday and we're there.

Dawn found a website the other day and sent me the link with the subject line "Salty's favorite website." (Salty is my character in the show.) Check out the site. It's hilarious all on it's own, but you won't understand quite why it's so funny until you see the show.

I picked up Les Kurkendaal at the airport today because Andrew had scheduled himself into a corner. Les was here last year for the fringe, all the way from LA and is one amazing guy. His one man show should be fantastic - it's called A Comment from the Peanut Gallery. Les single-handedly saved my relationship with Abi from an early derailment last year the first night that she and I went out by "throwing himself on a grenade" and distracting a very annoying person who wouldn't leave us alone. I owe Les a great deal. Plus, he's just hella fun to hang out with!

Wow. The out of towners are arriving. It really is fringe time!

See you out there!

I love the city at night.

I don't mean 1 or 2 in the morning when the bars close and people are out wandering around, though that time can be mightily amusing as well. No, I mean 3 or 4 in the morning when there is no one out on the streets but a few cabs, roving police cars, the occasional bus, and the crazy people out muttering to themselves.

Oh, yeah, and me.

You see, I work the overnight shift answering phones at Hennepin County Medical Center in the midst of downtown Minneapolis. It's not a bad job, if you're good at entertaining yourself and don't mind having no work. On my breaks, I like to go for long walks around downtown. There's something magical about a nearly empty city. While I'm out there, striding down the sidewalk to my own personal soundtrack, (Sarah McLaughlin today, but it could be anything from Disturbed to Eminem to Jack Johnson tomorrow - you never know....) this huge city is mine, because I'm the only one there to claim it. And it's not creepy like that early scene in 28 Days Later, it's just peaceful. It's particularly great if I can time it just so the sun is coming up as I make my way back toward the Metrodome and my place of employment, right next door.

I think it's particularly poignant right now as I ready myself to leave this place for a good long while, if not forever. Minneapolis has been a home to me for 21 of my 27 years, both as a child and most recently as an adult. I really and truly love the place. Right now, my walks bring back nothing but memories - memories as far back as my High School Prom at the downtown Radisson, and as recent as last year's fringe festival (Hennepin is about as far as I can get on a break, so I just reach the north end of the fringe campus.)

Due to my unusual career, I've be fortunate to be able to enjoy walking at night in many different cities, large and small, familiar and brand-new. Touring gives you unique opportunities. I really enjoying wandering around aimlessly, exploring new places, just seeing what is out there.

I will miss Minneapolis, though.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that one should be very careful in choosing the NEIGHBORHOOD one goes walking in at night. Our intern, Juliana, has a brother who just moved to Minneapolis and failed to learn about how the nighborhoods work. He got himself mugged. It isn't smart to go walking (or biking) after dark if you are, say, east of Lyndale and south of Lake. But it can be a challenge to explain that to parents who live in Albert Lea. I do hope Juliana's parents trust that we will keep her safe.

Megan mentioned today that I've sounded lonely in my last few posts. I suppose that's true. It's no fun being apart from Abi right now. I feel SO CLOSE to being there. It's truly just a waiting game now. And our one year anniversary is next week. Actually, we think today is the anniversary of the day we first met. At the Minneapolis Greyhound Bus Station. After she'd been on a bus for 13 hours. Ah, such humble beginnings.

Our rehearsal today was......compressed. We struck out with the churches we've been using for rehearsal, so we ended up in the conference room at Dawn's office. Paul deduced that it was 1/6 the size of our stage. It was air-conditioned, though, so there was an upside! It actually went really well, and Megan really frightened me a couple times as Oggy. I was all flustered in my monologue after that, which worked great. We also found a couple of great warm-up activities that really helped us get into the right place for the show. Thanks to Abi for reccommending them.

Three rehearsals left!

I just looked at the fringe site. Up in the right hand corner there is a countdown to the fringe. Four days. Wow. And we open the first night. It's almost here!

That is overwhelming in so many ways. It's terribly exciting, first of all. This show really needs an audience, I think, and we are really ready to go. It's going to be a marvellous time. But opening the show leaves us a mere 9 days from closing the show, and that's a sad thought.

I've been working professionally in this business for four years now, and I can honestly say that this is one of my favorite cast/crew groups ever, if not THE favorite. Everybody works SO hard and for the most part is SO lovely to each other. We've had a total of maybe one really minor spat amongst any of the six of us, and in general are extraordinarily understanding and supportive of each other. This just doesn't happen very often in a business where personalities are big and divas common. I really respect everyone in this group very much, and am so happy to have had this opportunity to work with them. I will be rather sad to leave this show behind, though there are large and distant adventures ahead of me soon.

We had a nice little birthday party for Paul last night at the beginning of rehearsal. Only one birthday this year. Last year, during our fringe rehearsals, we had four cast/crew birthdays in the same week!

We've got the show down ALMOST within the time limit. With a little picking up of the cues, I think we'll be just fine, and that's good because there is simply nothing more that is cuttable. I'm really not concerned. And we can strike the show in about a minute flat, so we should be very much on the happy side of the tech crew at the Pillsbury House.

I feel that my life is rather dull lately, outside of rehearsal. I go to my boring job. I do nothing while there. I go home to bed. I get up, work out, write to Abi, go to rehearsal. Then I eat something and go back to work. Consequently, I fear that my blog is rather dull lately.

Um, hello? Are you still awake?

(Cue chirping crickets)

I'm so bloody tired it's not even funny. I'm not really sure why - I had last night off from work. I got more sleep than usual last night. Maybe that's why I'm tired? We're all tired. This show is utterly exhausting. It's actually a struggle to keep the energy up for the last 15 minutes. It does help that we've got the show down to about an hour now, but I was really dragging the last half, and Dawn says she was too. Megan, on the other hand, was little miss energy today, but that could be due to the steriods she's on now to balance her medical problems.

It's all going well. Juliana was up on Thursday night so we could figure out all the costume and prop changes that she is going to have to do. We really are fortunate to have such a willing and competant intern on this show - her job has gone from being nebulous and undefined, to running backstage, to doing prop and costume handoffs while onstage as an additional "character." We've even put her in to a couple of the "group" scenes. She's really funny when we let her out there. It makes for some good new bits.

My "day" (night) job is getting to me. I'm SO ready to be done here. I have six days left and UGH just want them to be over! Did just arrange for someone to cover so I don't have to work the night before we open. That would have sucked. I'm here in MN working 8 hour nights and rehearsing 3-4 hour evenings, and Abi is in London rehearsing 12 hour days. We can hardly find time to talk on the phone! I'm SO ready to be there instead of here. And ready to stop working overnights. Really ready for that.

And I want the fringe to be here, dammit. I'm tired of hiding away in basements. (I work in the basement of the hospital. I live in a basement. We rehearse in a church basement. And what exactly is that big yellow thing I see in the sky as I drive from home to rehearsal every day, anyway?) The fringe is when we finally take some time off, get outside (between shows), run around, see people, hand them a flyer. And there is a lot more time for drinking, too. The show is cut, rehearsals are almost done, it's time for the show!

See you there!

After I take a nap.

Today was our first full run of the show, ever. No stopping. No break halfway through. Just flat out, straight through, come what may. It felt great! This was also our first time through the script with the new "attitude" in place, as I discussed yesterday. We discovered something wonderful. When we changed the energy of the first scene, it rather changed the entire play. It was really one of those runs where at the end you think - "Oh, that is so much better! Why weren't we doing that before?"

The characters feel stronger, the attitude and generosity feels right. The lines are just about there. Now we just need to smooth out the multitudinous costume and prop changes and we should be just about there.

Now my only worry is that we left a bad impression at Balls and that our buzz will be injured by that, and possibly our audience size. There's sort of a feeling of "No, really, now we're doing it right! It's better now!" Not that it was bad then. It wasn't. It just wasn't the delightfully good time that it will be. This is such a special script, with such lovely characters. Everyone in England loves this play. And no-one in America even knows about it!

I really don't care about the money we make or don't (that's Paul's domain) - I just know that the show won't be nearly as fun unless there are lots of people there. This show just screams for an audience - and it will be so much fun to do at the fringe....I just want to share it with everyone. And we've slipped to fifth on the fringe buzzboard. One more fall and we're off of it!

And it's my last show in MN! In the US! I want everyone to come so I can see them (or meet them!) again before I leave. Sigh.

But you'll be there, won't you? That'll help. Just bring all your friends. And your mom. And her friends. And a bunch of rowdy teenagers. And every fringer you can find. (We love ultra-pass and artist-pass folks. They are the best audiences.)

Enough pleading. I'm sure it will be fine.

If you all come. {grin}

Last night our show had a preview at Balls Cabaret. (Yes, that's what it's called. The host's name is Leslie Ball. It's nothing rude. Get your mind out of the gutter. There isn't room in here for both of us.) There were nine showcases, and we were fifth. Nice and in the middle - a good place to be. We got to see some fantastic showcases, and, well, one guy that was rather confusing and disturbing. And long-winded.

Our seven minute cutting felt really good at first, but the few friends I talked to didn't seem so enthusiastic. This was disappointing to me, but very, very useful. Well, first off, there were some mitigating circumstances. Megan is still on valium, for one. She did a great job getting through it, but valium has got to take a little of that edge off, I would imagine. Another was that we were in a space about three times the size of the Pillsbury House, were miles away from the audience (which doesn't work well for the piece) and couldn't see them (that was our fault - should have brought up the house lights). Also, interestingly, we were the only play that night. Three dance pieces, one amazing puppeteer, three monologists, one "what the fuck was that?" and us. (I shouldn't say fuck now that I've discovered my mom has been reading this, but *shrug*.) We were, strangely, a very different change of pace doing a play. But fair enough.

The main thing I discovered was that I had been directing things a bit wrong. We were all having a great time, and that is marvelous, but we were doing it in a way that was likely to exclude the audience. That's bad. The whole point of this is to include the audience and have them leave thinking "Wow. That was really fun and I feel really happy right now." (OK, I admit it, I want them to feel the way they did leaving Shakespeare for Breakfast last year. Is that so wrong?) And that being the case, I went right to the source. It does help that my girlfriend just happens to be the person who directed that little gem, and is also one of the best directors under 35 in all of London. (Insert proud boyfriend moment here - did I mention that she works at the GLOBE?) Abi and I talked for two and half hours last night, much of it about the show. It really helped. I came into rehearsal today with TONS of new ideas for the show and how to get where I want to go.

And then the rehearsal was just fantastic itself. Sadly, Virginia wasn't there, and Juliana won't be back for a week, but we carry on. I had Paul call everyone before rehearsal and tell them to arrive in character (I should note we are all high school students in our "base" characters, and that all tech people have high school personas as well.) When we got there, we "found" a note from our teacher telling us that he wouldn't be at rehearsal and what we should do. I then used my character to generate some situational improvisation. After that we then did a few improv exercises that our "teacher" had told us to do, and then ran Act II. After that we broke and came back as ourselves for notes. It was really useful.

We learned a lot about our characters and about ourselves. We spent a lot of time discussing what their arcs are over the whole show, and what they learn. We talked a lot about what it means when Hobby finally kisses Gail. We talked about how to make the characters lovely and fun and loveable. My biggest challenge is that Salty is really a rather gruff, loud and semi-obnoxious character, though with a real sweetness underneath - but it's a challenge to have the audience like/love him when he can be off-putting at first.

This may have been our best rehearsal. All the rehearsals have been fun but this one may have been the best for character growth. And I think we all felt it.

Dawn said I need to mention her budgies. Erm, her parakeets. She calls them budgies. She has two parakeets that she occasionally brings to rehearsal if she is transitioning between her house and her boyfriend's house. They are very cute, but I am allergic to feathers, so I can't get too close. They were very interesting to incorporate and justify when we started the entire rehearsal with an improv today.

Lots of rehearsal the next few days. Fantastic. I'm really excited to see where this is going.

Abi thought I should do this so you all know who is who:

Brian's Life Cast List

It was fantastic to be back in rehearsals tonight. Megan was there and it was a joy to work with her again. She really is an extraordinary actress for being only nineteen. The poor thing got her mother to drive her to rehearsal because she is still on Valium. She was really sluggish and slow when we got there, due to the drugs, but the moment we started rehearsal, that was entirely gone. After we finished, she was limping more than before, and I asked if she was okay. She replied that she had just overdone it a little. She said she was so excited to be back working on the show that she pushed herself more than she expected to. Now, you hate to see someone in pain, but that is the sort of attitude you can't get enough of as a director. So kudos to Megan. She'll never know how much she is appreciated. (Well, unless she reads the blog, that is....)

Speaking of the actors reading the blog, Dawn mentioned to me today that I don't talk about her enough. So here we go: Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn. (Silly, obvious, but effective.) And actually, Dawn was pretty damn (I said it again!) fantastic today as well. (Once again, I held the record for line calls. Sigh. I'm just not used to being blond!) Dawn has a long audience-interactive monologue in the show as the high school bully, and she is just kicking ass. It's a very tough bit, a real challenge, and she is rising to it. It's nice for me, too, because it's one of the few moments in the play that I'm not in, so I can do "proper" directing on it. She just ate up everything I said and uses it consistantly. There is truly nothing better than an actor who knows how to take direction. (That's why I was so sad I had no role for Andrew Cleveland in this show. The man is a director's dream. I'd say 'wet dream,' but that would give him ideas. Probably already has.) For a preview of the monologue, come to Ball's Cabaret tonight at midnight!

Dawn is getting lots of action in the play now. We had a lot of new ideas tonight, and we added bits where she kisses each of the other actors. So that can never be a bad thing. (Well, as long as her police officer/bouncer boyfriend doesn't mind TOO much. The man is VERY big. And I am not.)

And yes, that means there is a girl-on-girl kiss. (Which Megan doesn't even know about yet since she left early today...) But I still maintain we are PG-13. There's no tongue. (Yet.)

Between Megan's amazing attitude and Dawn's malleability as an actor, who does that leave to be the dunce of the cast? Yeah, right: me. Oh, well. I can't really talk about myself as an actor from the director's viewpoint, because I'm not quite schizophrenic enough to separate myself from myself. (I am not Pooh-bah!) I think I'm doing well and Virginia seems to agree, so I'll just go along with that. It felt good today, with the exception of all the line calls. The costume is insane though. How do rapper-kids stand wearing their pants so low?

Juliana was at rehearsal for the first time since the read through today and immediately made herself eminently useful. Three times in a row she produced necessary items that no one had thought to bring. She had scissors, saftey pins and a hair tie, all which we really needed, and all within five minutes. She may have a future as a Stage Manager. Or a personal savior.

This show is going to be so amazing, but we do have a lot of work to do. But as long as there aren't any more unforseen interruptions to the rehearsal schedule, I think we are going to exceed even our own expectations.

Wow, all of this on top of finally landing a job in London yesterday. A drama teaching position at a secondary school which basically cleared up all the uncertainty and poverty in my life. And I got the job on the basis of a 10 minute phone interview, at 3 AM, done in my pajamas as it was my day off, in which I answered a full two questions about myself. I must have said something right.

Interesting that the play is about a drama teacher in a secondary school. And it was originally set in England. Life imitates art, it seems.

Oh, and I resolved that problem with my colleague. It appears to be to everyone's satisfaction. I'd been an ass. She seems to have accepted my apology. I am grateful.

And the Twins won. Twice. Beating Oakland.

Everything is starting to go right, all at once. That's a bit scary.

This show is really going to feature a blonder, smoother and thinner me. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but the hair looks pretty good. Dawn worked really hard on it and did an excellent job. We've just about got all costumes and hair and stuff ready for our Ball's Cabaret Showcase on Saturday, which should be really great. I should look like a true Eminem-worshipping, white-rapper-wannabe high school student. And then I'll still look like that while looking for a job in London. Brilliant.

Megan is doing better than expected, which is fantastic. We've already spoken to her a few times on the phone and Virginia stopped by to visit today. We'll be very happy to have her back, and it looks like that will be in time for Saturday, which is a relief. We did recut the preview so that she won't have to work as hard, and also to include as much of the audience-interactive stuff as possible. This is both because Balls is really interactive-friendly, and because it gives us most likely our only opportunity to practice them with a real audience. It should be a lot of fun!

The last couple days have been a struggle, personally. Yesterday was Abi's birthday, and of course I'm here instead of in London, so that was very sad, but I still did my best to make it special from 4,032 miles away. I sent gifts and made lots of phone calls throughout the day. Would have rather sent myself, but I have to be here for rehearsal and work. And the postage would have been horribly expensive.

There have also been some interpersonal issues on a professional level that I don't feel comfortable talking about here (yes, there IS a limit to my exhibitionism, apparantly), but suffice it to say that I appear to have really upset someone that interact with professionally and I feel awful about it. I think that is perhaps the worst feeling in the world - knowing that you have caused someone pain, even if it was never your intention to do so. And there never is any way to fix it, is there? I suppose that's a typical male instinct - to want to fix it - but there it is. So tonight has been a fairly introspective and unhappy night. But those happen too, I guess. Just try to feel it and learn from it. And maybe use it in a play someday.

But for some reason, saying "I'm sorry" just never feels like enough, does it? Maybe it's because those words have become so cheap in our society. It's always easy to say something, even if you don't mean it. And unfortunately, that makes it so much harder to convey to someone that you really do mean it. And I'm crap at that. I always feel like people don't believe me. (Great quality for an actor, don't you think?)

OK, enough non-show personal stuff. And really, how depressing! So.... We're taking a cast trip to see "The Mikado" on Thursday at Theatre in the Round, because Mikado figures into our show from time to time and none of us have seen it. And because my friend Sara Ochs got us free tickets to the preview. And then on Friday, we may get to have an actual rehearsal! Brilliant!

I am not a fat man. Many people would say I am a thin man. I stand about 6'2'' and at last weighing, am about 157 pounds. Why, then, do I have a double chin? I just shaved my goatee today because we are preparing to actually look like our characters for our showcase at Ball's Cabaret on Saturday. I wasn't as horrified this time as I was in May (when I shaved for the first time in two years) for our photo shoot, as it's a little better and I was prepared for it this time, but what is going on? Is God playing a cruel trick on me? Losing 15 pounds on this diet has reduced my waist size by two inches or so, but the double chin and small pot belly remain. Sigh. Does anyone know any chin exercises?

I made another shocking discovery today, as well. People are actually reading this blog! I mean, I knew Abi was, and Paul was, and probably the rest of the Teechers cast, but people are actually bouncing over from the fringe site. People I haven't met yet! (Though I am sure I will. Amy and David sound totally cool, and you meet EVERYONE at the fringe.) This discovery is both exciting and a bit scary. But exciting and scary is good, so welcome! I hope you enjoy this blog! And thanks for your lovely comments on vox fringe. I appreciate them very much.

Speaking of Amy and David being cool, you might be interested in their fringe show blogs. Check em out!
Amy's
David's
I reccommend Matthew's, too!

Today we bought costumes, figured out the button maker, revised the press release and finished off the postcards.

Now if only we were rehearsing.

Ok, I know I probably talk about that too much, but you have to understand how frustrating it is. Actors thrive off of rehearsal. Performance, too, yes, but in a different way. Rehearsals are a time for discovery, for learning who your character is and how to get inside that. For trying new things, crazy things, things you would never show to an audience composed of anyone from the real world.

Rehearsals are a safe place and I've been away too long.

In all fairness, I should say that rehearsals should be a safe place. I have, unfortunately, been involved with rehearsals that were scary places. Rehearsals where the director threw things at you (like basketballs and 2 liter bottles). Rehearsals where you couldn't trust the people around you, where the director pressed a buzzer whenever he didn't think you were "funny enough," and where you were mocked, ridiculed and berated for your opinions, theories, personal life and performances. Where you left the rehearsal room crying and vowed never to work for "that asshole" again. But those times are in the past. {Shudder}

But with Teechers, the rehearsals are exactly what they should be. They are gentle, safe times with trustworthy friends. They are artistic explorations where you feel free to open yourself up and take risks. They are exactly what they should be. I feel lucky. I feel grateful. Only one thing would make the whole thing better.

I wish there were more of them.

Maybe that's selfish of me. I don't want more time to rehearse because I don't think the show will be ready. I want more time because I enjoy it so much. (I would say so damn much, but Abi warned me I use the word 'damn' too damn often, and after rereading my posts, you know what? She's goddamn right!) :)

I fear I am whining. I will stop. But I am thankful to the cast and crew of this show for making rehearsals what they are supposed to be, and so often aren't. Joyful.

And I want to invite you to come see the show. It's the sort of show where the audience gets to share in the joy, because they are invited to from the beginning.

And you get a free Teechers button. No one else will give you that.

There is an amazing power in words.

Beyond that, there is an astounding power in a well written monologue. I have just now (finally!) finished memorizing the climactic speech at the end of the play. Running through it, completely memorized, with full thought and intentions; I was suddenly struck by how powerful it really is, how important what I am saying is, and how GODDAMN cool it is going to be to play those moments.

Super-excited about the show now, here at 5:45 AM sitting at the switchboard at the hospital where I "work," muttering lines under my breath.

I think, for actors at least, the right words have the power to regenerate, renew and make this whole damn thing worth while.

So I lift a toast to Shakespeare and to John Godber. The master, and the man who gave me the words with which to kick some ass at the fringe.

I am standing at a crossroads. Figuratively, of course.

I found out yesterday that Megan, one of the actors, is in need of minor surgery and will be out for a week starting Monday. There are three weeks left of rehearsal. We basically lose a week of that, because in an ensemble show that only has three actors, there are very few scenes you can do with someone missing. Oh, and our Ball's Cabaret preview is the 19th. While I am feeling very positive about the shape the show is in, we haven't yet had more than a week straight of work because of people's schedules. Tuesday was supposed to begin our final three week thrust through to the end.

I've been through a lot of emotions about this already. Discouragement. Minor panic. Major panic. Anger at the universe. Railing at the gods. But aside from suddenly developing the healing hands of Jesus, I don't see what there is I can actually do about it except cope. I have no interest in recasting the role if there is any way she can continue. We've laid too much groundwork with this cast already, and she is just too damn good in the role.

To be honest I think some of my disappointment comes from the fact that I was really looking forward to jumping into things next week. Before we started work on this, I hadn't done anything theatrically (aside from audience-ing) since Frankenstein/Dracula with Pig's Eye in October. And that was a less than satisfying experience, to be honest. I'm SO ready for this. I think this is the first time since I started in theatre at age 13 that I have gone more than three months without working on a show. I'm an actor, goddammit, not a freaking receptionist! And while all the long hours and double shifts have been worth it because they will ultimately enable me to make the move to London, I've been starved for this theatrical orgy. These on-again-off-again weeks have been achingly teasing me, like foreplay with an almost-cruel partner. And now the fullness of the rehearsal process is being denied to me for another week.

We also have to perform the preview with little to no proper rehearsal. Granted, that scene is in damn fine shape, but still. And it's about 50/50 if we will have Megan for it. Otherwise we will have to have Virginia or Juliana (our intern) step in, or recut to piece together scenes with just Dawn and I. It will happen, and it will probably be good, but it won't be the way I want it, and that makes the petulant child buried inside of me want to throw a temper tantrum.

So, the actor in me is unhappy about not being able to drown myself in theatrical soup. The director in me is worried that an understudy will have to go on for the Ball's Cabaret preview and therefore the work will be somewhat off-kilter. The producer in me is concerned that without the real cast or a full rehearsal week, the B.C. preview will not be as stunningly amazing as it would otherwise be, and might not inspire as many people to see the full show.

And then there is the tiny fact that someone I've recently come to care about is, after all, having surgery on Monday.

Oh, and it also bugs me that that last one isn't at the TOP of the list, where it should be.

Brent has finished the website! It looks really good and you should go see it now. Shortenedcoffin.com

It's been a journey over the last few days, with a bug that wouldn't go away. But we figured it out! BIG Kudos to Matthew Foster, webmaster for the Fringe Festival; and Brent Meyer, our own webdesigner; for puzzling it out. (Ironically, at the exact same time. Two independent correct answers. How often does THAT happen in the real world?)

And Brent did a great job! You should take a look at his amazing flash work, too. Brent's site - instantpop.com.

I thought that directing and acting in the same show would be difficult if not impossible. I only did it under duress - we just couldn't find a director who was free that we knew well enough to trust with the show. So I agreed to do it. My friends told me I was nuts. I told me I was nuts. But you know what?

It's not as hard as I thought.

Blocking was tough, but Virginia (the co-director we hired) was fantastic as "eyes from the outside." I can't really direct myself as an ACTOR (Virginia, again, does a nice job with that) - but in some ways I find it easier to direct my fellow actors while in the show with them. I get a better sense of how the show is flowing while I am in the midst of it. Ultimately, I wouldn't say it's easier or harder, just different and a fun experience.

There is one thing, though. If you are the director, and you set an offbook date, and you expect your actors to follow it, you should really be sure that you KNOW YOUR DAMN LINES. And I did. For the first half. And then it was a melt down. So I have spent the rest of the night berating myself. (And I have my director with me ALL THE TIME! I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM HIM!)

Paul had to feed me every single line in my most important scene at the end of the play. And I felt a total fool. The girls, however, were fantastic. I was really proud of them. They knew nearly all their lines, and the show just sparkled with energy. (And Virginia still laughs at ALL the jokes. That's a GREAT quality in her position.) The first half was really rocking, and the second will get there. If only the director could learn what he is supposed to say. Hrm. With great power comes great responsibility....

But I AM doing really well on the diet-to-look-like-the-high-school-student-you-are-playing program. I've lost another 5 pounds (that makes 10 in three weeks) and I'm actually feeling healthier than ever. Look at me, eating healthy food instead of taco bell four times a week. Whoda thunkit?

Oh, and if anyone can explain to me what happened to "Minnesota Nice," I'd be interested to know. I mean, come on! A man gets pushed out of a boat in a "boatrage" incident, disappears, and people won't move their boats so the cops can look for him because THEY DON'T WANT TO LOSE THEIR PRIMO FIREWORKS-WATCHING SPOT? C'mon people! Without "Minnesota Nice," all Midwesterners have left is passive-aggressiveness. Thank God I'm moving to London. London isn't as crass and blunt as New York (not that crassness and bluntness are bad) but at least there people tell you if they think you are a festering pustule on the ASS of humanity; instead of thinking it, telling everyone about it, and then telling you how much they loved your hot dish recipe, like they would here in good 'ol MN.

All in all, the 7th of July, 2003 was a pretty good day. And happy 11 month anniversary to Abi. In one month it'll be a year. In two months I'll see her again. Sigh.

I've been thinking a lot about belonging lately. This could be because so much of the show is about outcasts, but if I'm honest, I think it's more likely that my impending move is the source. London is a big place, and I'm going to be one little American swimming in a sea of Brits. Or, at least, of non-Americans, since London is more multicultural than anywhere in our lovely US of A. I've never spent more than a month anywhere where I haven't been surrounded by Americans. And I haven't always fit in to begin with!

Of course, there is much to be said for the theory that I will find more "belonging" outside of this country, what with the way it generally treats liberals and artists. In fact, isn't that the whole reason for this life-change? I mean, aside from Abi. So what are you worried about, old boy? Eh - somebody shoot that paranoia bunny - It's getting away! Damn.

Rehearsal was good tonight, but it wasn't blow-me-away fantastic like Friday was. I have to say, the creative energy was just jump-jiving that night. I haven't felt that way in a rehearsal in a long time - it was fantastic! But tonight was good - it just paled compared to that one. We worked through act 2....everyone was more offbook than me....I should feel guilty about that, I suppose, but I have a press release to work on, so I don't have time.

I really think this show is going to be a good one. It will be exciting to have my last MN show be a swan song worthy of note. Now if only we can get people to come see it! Urgh. Pillsbury House. But the good news is that we are currently number one on the "most scheduled show" list over at the fringe site. Can't beat that. I hope we can maintain it!

And the Twins lost. Again. When am I going to stop caring? It would make the whole meltdown a little easier.